1. Pursuit of excitement & fulfillment
2. Leave a legacy
3. Develop mastery in a field that I am excited about
4. Create something that I believe will help others.
5. Life in the present, don’t dwell on the past or be too anxious of the future
6. Pursue learning different worldviews/ travel frequently, try new foods, learn new cultures.
7. Have enough financial freedom to chase anything I want to do in life. 
8. Have my own profitable businesses.
9. To not fear the unknown/death. To be more of a risk-taker/ be comfortable anywhere
10. To maintain and develop meaningful relationships/mentorships that focus on symbiotic growth
11. To be honest with myself at all times/ practice introspection / realize my motivations
12. To fall in love
13. To spend a long time away from technology, going on long-term hiatus into nature.
14. To inspire the next generation of entrepreneurs, to help people find their calling
15. To speak up when I believe something wrong is being done/ be assertive
16. To look back in the past and be happy with what events have transpired
17. To see things out to their end, staying strong when things get difficult
18. To broadcast my knowledge online, to reach out to a wider audience to share my knowledge.
19. To practice and learn martial-arts at a high level
20. To more selfless
21. To have the capacity to adapt to any situation
22. To better empathize with others
23. Help develop or take part in a multi-million research study
24. To be a master story-teller
25. To lead others

Disclaimer: Life goals subject to change over time

Top Goals:

1. Pursuit of excitement & fulfillment (love, relationships, risk-taking, being uncomfortable, lose fear of unknown/death)
2. Life in the present, don’t dwell on the past or be too anxious of the future
3. Have enough financial freedom to chase anything I want to do in life. 
4. To see things out to their end, staying strong when things get difficult
5. To lead others

Life Goal:

1. I guess it comes as no surprise. My life goal is to pursue excitement and chase fulfillment. This goal encompasses many different things, but it’s the direction I wish to go toward. Let’s go baby.

This concept of gamification has been known to me for some time. I didn’t have a word for it, but after conversations with Marco and other interesting people, I can finally put a word to it. The concept is applying a “game system” to things to make them more interesting. This is can be in the form of adding a point-> reward system to applications like Snapchat, facebook, etc.

During middle school, I used to skip dinners to create mini-games in a popular game called Warcraft 3. One of my favorite things to create was a unit that would start the game very weak, but over time, these units would come to be the strongest in the game. These units had very high potential, but a lot of care and time was needed for the player to unlock these unit’s potential.

Lately, I’ve been adopting this mindset to life. Today, I made a breakthrough in thinking about my potential. Taking into consideration my conversations with Mau and my own introspection, I realize parallels between me and those same units that I created many years ago. The more I talk with others, the more I realize that I have something of immense value to offer the world.

I offer a fresh perspective to others, and I need to continue to invest in my well-being through constant learning so that I can increase the quality of life for those around me.

It is the responsibility I choose to take unto myself.

 

Today marks the first day of my 30 day challenge. During this time, I will attempt to complete 30 different challenges that place me outside of my comfort zone. This challenge will be documented through Snapchat.

I’m doing this challenge because I believe that I can grow as a person, experience new things, and gain valuable insight for the future. I’ll be doing this challenge with my buddy Mau, and we will try to keep ourselves and each other accountable.

I’m both excited and extremely terrified of the following 29 days. They say that habits take 2 weeks to form. My attempt is to form this new habit of finding comfort in what are usually uncomfortable situations for me. I’m going to be juggling many things during this time, but I expect this challenge to improve all areas of my life. I think it will be vital for me to be mindful of the things I am trying to accomplish- so that I am aware of where I am being inefficient and how to maximize my development.

Midterms come to an end. I find myself again slowly filling with boredom. It feels like I’m caught again in the middle of a bad cycle. Negative thoughts have been slowly swelling up and now I’m faced to deal with them. It’s nothing new that I can’t handle though. I just need to figure out what I want to do with my free time. Let’s try another free-writing session.

I want power and prestige. I want to develop a mastery in a skill and use that mastery to help others and to push forward development in that field. I’m not sure what that skill would be yet. What do I know? I know that I have a fear of failure (like everyone). I know that I won’t be on this earth forever. I will die some day. I don’t want to find myself doing something I don’t want to do in the future. I want to harness the willpower and energy within me to create something extraordinary. I need to stop excessively thinking about what that might be and just keep on creating. Tim Ferriss said yesterday that he thinks that children should learn to fail. What do I want to create? What legacy do I want to leave behind? Now that midterms are over, I’ll have some time to ponder on these issues. I have to be strong enough to not be distracted by all the things I don’t want to do. Moving forward.

 

Here I will attempt to reach into my depths and free-write about the things that make up my present life.

We live for these moments of pure ecstasy. For some strange reason, I feel that so many people work very hard and destroy themselves in hopes to have their 1 moment of happiness for every month of grueling labor. I don’t want to live this life. Starting now, I’m going to attempt to find greatness and the miracle in everything around me. I find that it’s especially hard to do when inebriated or when I take on too many things at once. Being overwhelmed is something that I don’t want. But this is not to say that I want to become lazy and/or complacent. I strive to work hard, focusing strongly on one thing at a time, and challenging myself this way. I think the key is to change the mindset I have.

Previously mentioned in my past blogs, life is innately chaotic. Seemingly random things are bound to happen. If we are able to accept this law of nature, we can find satisfaction and beauty in all things around us. Instead of panicking about the things we can’t control, we have a responsibility to ourselves to make the conscious choice to embrace all the mysteries of life. This way of thinking is sustainable. You are less prone to panic attacks and feelings of anxiety.

In every moment we are the best versions of ourselves.

It’s both hilarious and frustrating at the same time to try and ask a random cute girl for her goddamn phone number. It’s good to be uncomfortable though, this has become almost factual in my life today. Mau mentioned today that it’s when you grow most, and I wholeheartedly agree. Today, this has been about asking for someone’s phone number. Honestly, it isn’t a big deal, but I think it would help propel me into doing more things that both frighten and benefit me. Now I’m going to attempt to act out potential sequences of this happening.

“hey, this might be really weird but im practicing going out of my comfort zone and I never asked for a girls # straight up and I was wondering if you would give it to me?”

“great thanks, I’ll shoot you a text later and maybe we can hang out. have a great day!”

I’ve already let 2 girls go by without me getting up off my ass. It’s not bad though, I’m treating it as a game. I just gotta build up the courage to do it as soon as I can.

I’ve felt a stronger sense of appreciation for life lately. It’s truly inspiration to listen to rappers and mentor figures in my life talk about their past experiences and to have something in common with them. It makes me feel like I’m going towards their general direction. J. Cole specifically has been so relevant in my life the past couple of days. I’m finding that as I pay more attention to the lyrics in his song, I can empathize with his words. To reiterate again, it’s such a powerful feeling to feel that sort of human connection with someone I used to idolize.

I say “used to,” not because I no longer have the same respect for him, but because I realize that I can accomplish just as much and more. It’s going to be quite a ride, but I know that with the right mentality I can accomplish anything I choose to. The trick is to stay positive and realize that wherever I am will be the accumulation of my  genetics, past experiences and  subsequent decisions.

Now I will attempt to find a topic in which I can free-write about (no edits).

Social, School, Work, Others. These are the categories in which I have broken down my challenge documents. These things that I try to live by on a week-by-week basis. I probably don’t spend as much time as I should on perfecting these things. I’m reminded again about how many times in my life I don’t see things through to the end. It seems I often jump from place to place, from person to person, from thing to thing. How can I utilize these traits to find the things I love? I think about how well I can adapt to situations as well. I’ve been talking with friends about the importance of developing self-discipline. I guess I can’t be too hard on myself. After all, I’ve been keeping this blog for over a year and a half!(I think) I’ve also consistently played video games for way longer than that. And at least I am actively searching for new things to do. It isn’t that I’m not taking any action, but I’m definitely not taking the MASSIVE ACTION that Tony Robbins constantly reiterates.

Is it time for me to find myself in another country once more? For my own sake, I need to make a stronger effort to chase discomfort. How can I do this today? I have never been rejected when I asked a girl for her phone number. This is only because I don’t ask enough women. And I need to actively pursue women, not girls.

It’s about damn time I get rejected.

Last minute gratitude practice. Thankful for J. Cole for empowering me. Thanks to Manida for her positive personality. Thankful for my clown roommates. Thankful that I am talking with my brother more often. Thankful that I am still in school and moving towards a promising future. Thankful for the present and not feeling overwhelmed with things. Thankful that I have the ability to grow and love myself.

“The good news is… you came a long way. The bad news is you went the wrong way. What’s money without happiness? Or hard times without the people you love.”

These profound lyrics have made a profound impact in my life since last week.

I’ve been struggling to maintain order in my life the past couple of weeks. I have been so easily induced into anxiety and madness. I’ve let myself be overrun by silly distractions, and fell victim to myself.

The good news is that I have developed a better sense of what I want to move towards. I have found much happiness in spending time with others doing activities such as slacklining, talking about God, philosophizing, among other things.

It’s quite difficult to write at this very moment. I suspect it is due to all the Virtual Reality experiences I had today.

After my existential crisis, I developed a better sense of allowing myself to be free of self-resistance, but it seems I’m developing other issues. Because I am no longer questioning myself as much as I did before, my thoughts seem very unorganized at times and I often catch myself trying to juggle 20 different thoughts at a time. It’s a hard idea to try to explain. Even now, I recognize that this post seems to be jumping all over the place with topics! It is pretty late in the day after all.

Come tomorrow, I will begin another meditation routine. I’m going to try and give myself a routine. Wake up around 10, head to grab some coffee. Head to work around 12, and then class at 2.

I’m thinking about this important question today because I feel that I need to take some sort of massive action. I’ve been pretty comfortable these past couple of weeks and I feel that change should be made. I’ve been writing for some time, but I haven’t really freewrote. I’m going to try and continue writing this with little to no hesitation. The point being trying to find out what would be the right move to make. Do I want to quit school? What would I do after? What makes me most uncomfortable? I could move to another city and try to pick myself up elsewhere. What marketable skills do I have? Should I start my own business? What business would I start? Do I scrap the savings I have and go travel? I’m not sure. It makes most sense to stay in school and figure these things out. I just don’t want to settle, but it seems like I’m not sure what it is I want to do for sure just yet. I’ll try and keep these things in mind, but I think the right move would be to continue school.

As I grow older, every week seems to be a more substantial lesson than its former. This week, I had long conversations with wise friends, enjoyed good times with old friends, watched the sun set, among other things.

There’s just so much to discuss. I wish I wrote these things on a daily basis. Maybe I’ll make that my next week’s challenge.

On a side note, I give gratitude to Tristan, Ryan, Harry, Vinny, My, Manida, Jon, Derek, Bryan, Tim who are among the people that helped make my week so great.

I spoke to Vinny today during lunch about the existential crisis that had crippled me the past week. An interesting topic came up when we discussed how difficult it was to find a girl who thought so deeply about these things. I don’t want to feel like I’m settling. I have hope that I will know when I find the right partner for me.

I digress. I should write about the AHA moment I had yesterday. This Eureka! moment filled within me as I burst out in laughter all by my lonesome. It was at this moment that I felt a release within me that allowed me to taste joy again. I miss my old dog Joy! 😦

It’s hard to put this moment into words, but it was mainly made up of my realizing that I needed to find a way to reduce my self-doubt. I found that I was constantly resisting myself by labeling my actions as good or bad. When these actions or thoughts were made up of the latter, I would question my morality and put myself down. I laughed when I realized that the answer is and will always be inside me. It was my decision to resist myself and that meant I could also condition myself to stop behaving that way.

I think that I have a long ways to go, but I feel well-equipped to deal with my problems. I’m lucky to have people like Ryan and Tim who can support me when I need them.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be VIVE day! I can’t wait!

P.S. Nature calls. I need to plan a date with nature in the near future.