Zoning In

I’ve felt a stronger sense of appreciation for life lately. It’s truly inspiration to listen to rappers and mentor figures in my life talk about their past experiences and to have something in common with them. It makes me feel like I’m going towards their general direction. J. Cole specifically has been so relevant in my life the past couple of days. I’m finding that as I pay more attention to the lyrics in his song, I can empathize with his words. To reiterate again, it’s such a powerful feeling to feel that sort of human connection with someone I used to idolize.

I say “used to,” not because I no longer have the same respect for him, but because I realize that I can accomplish just as much and more. It’s going to be quite a ride, but I know that with the right mentality I can accomplish anything I choose to. The trick is to stay positive and realize that wherever I am will be the accumulation of my  genetics, past experiences and  subsequent decisions.

Now I will attempt to find a topic in which I can free-write about (no edits).

Social, School, Work, Others. These are the categories in which I have broken down my challenge documents. These things that I try to live by on a week-by-week basis. I probably don’t spend as much time as I should on perfecting these things. I’m reminded again about how many times in my life I don’t see things through to the end. It seems I often jump from place to place, from person to person, from thing to thing. How can I utilize these traits to find the things I love? I think about how well I can adapt to situations as well. I’ve been talking with friends about the importance of developing self-discipline. I guess I can’t be too hard on myself. After all, I’ve been keeping this blog for over a year and a half!(I think) I’ve also consistently played video games for way longer than that. And at least I am actively searching for new things to do. It isn’t that I’m not taking any action, but I’m definitely not taking the MASSIVE ACTION that Tony Robbins constantly reiterates.

Is it time for me to find myself in another country once more? For my own sake, I need to make a stronger effort to chase discomfort. How can I do this today? I have never been rejected when I asked a girl for her phone number. This is only because I don’t ask enough women. And I need to actively pursue women, not girls.

It’s about damn time I get rejected.

Last minute gratitude practice. Thankful for J. Cole for empowering me. Thanks to Manida for her positive personality. Thankful for my clown roommates. Thankful that I am talking with my brother more often. Thankful that I am still in school and moving towards a promising future. Thankful for the present and not feeling overwhelmed with things. Thankful that I have the ability to grow and love myself.

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