Midterms come to an end. I find myself again slowly filling with boredom. It feels like I’m caught again in the middle of a bad cycle. Negative thoughts have been slowly swelling up and now I’m faced to deal with them. It’s nothing new that I can’t handle though. I just need to figure out what I want to do with my free time. Let’s try another free-writing session.
I want power and prestige. I want to develop a mastery in a skill and use that mastery to help others and to push forward development in that field. I’m not sure what that skill would be yet. What do I know? I know that I have a fear of failure (like everyone). I know that I won’t be on this earth forever. I will die some day. I don’t want to find myself doing something I don’t want to do in the future. I want to harness the willpower and energy within me to create something extraordinary. I need to stop excessively thinking about what that might be and just keep on creating. Tim Ferriss said yesterday that he thinks that children should learn to fail. What do I want to create? What legacy do I want to leave behind? Now that midterms are over, I’ll have some time to ponder on these issues. I have to be strong enough to not be distracted by all the things I don’t want to do. Moving forward.