As I grow older, every week seems to be a more substantial lesson than its former. This week, I had long conversations with wise friends, enjoyed good times with old friends, watched the sun set, among other things.
There’s just so much to discuss. I wish I wrote these things on a daily basis. Maybe I’ll make that my next week’s challenge.
On a side note, I give gratitude to Tristan, Ryan, Harry, Vinny, My, Manida, Jon, Derek, Bryan, Tim who are among the people that helped make my week so great.
I spoke to Vinny today during lunch about the existential crisis that had crippled me the past week. An interesting topic came up when we discussed how difficult it was to find a girl who thought so deeply about these things. I don’t want to feel like I’m settling. I have hope that I will know when I find the right partner for me.
I digress. I should write about the AHA moment I had yesterday. This Eureka! moment filled within me as I burst out in laughter all by my lonesome. It was at this moment that I felt a release within me that allowed me to taste joy again. I miss my old dog Joy! 😦
It’s hard to put this moment into words, but it was mainly made up of my realizing that I needed to find a way to reduce my self-doubt. I found that I was constantly resisting myself by labeling my actions as good or bad. When these actions or thoughts were made up of the latter, I would question my morality and put myself down. I laughed when I realized that the answer is and will always be inside me. It was my decision to resist myself and that meant I could also condition myself to stop behaving that way.
I think that I have a long ways to go, but I feel well-equipped to deal with my problems. I’m lucky to have people like Ryan and Tim who can support me when I need them.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be VIVE day! I can’t wait!
P.S. Nature calls. I need to plan a date with nature in the near future.