I talk a lot about the phenomenon of progression and how closely it is tied to my meaning of life. I’ve been working on trying to debug my code for 3 days with very little progress. This lack of fulfillment spilled over into my life outside of work and admittedly left me feeling very upset. I walked around yesterday contemplating again why I was given everything that I was given. I remember thinking that I felt a lot of pressure to succeed for my family. I calmed down and told myself that if anyone can do it, it would be me. I would do it for myself and my family.

Today, I finally made significant progress with the research that I’ve been doing. The fixes were simple, but the end result was exactly how I had envisioned it to be. Here we go again about the strength of visualization.

I know a lot now. At 22 years old, I have attained a wisdom that not many possess. It’s my duty to impart this knowledge to others and continue to become the best version of myself.

Let’s GO!

As I sit here by the fireplace and expensive pool I reflect to last weekend where the idea of death seemed to be so close by. Why do I feel so safe here, now? It’s time to meditate on death and realize that we are not immortal beings who will surely have tomorrow to live for. It isn’t all that melancholy either, it’s actually the opposite. When you ponder about your death you narrow in on those things that you want to complete now rather than later.

For me, I still feel like I don’t know exactly what it is I want. I want so many things, but I haven’t found the one thing that really calls out to me. I like the idea of helping others, but I haven’t devised up a good plan or developed a strong enough skill-set to do so.

For now, I’m trying to develop myself so that I can set myself for success later. The most difficult thing is finding fun in those stages of development. It may be silly of me to think about all the things that will come after this stage before even doing so.

One thing I’ve realized this summer is that I love having people around to chat with. I developed a newfound appreciation for those around me and look forward to creating lasting bonds with those who care for me. Social interactions can be highly satisfying and life-changing at times.

I’ve lost interest in continuing to write more in this post, and I might die later tonight so I won’t waste anymore time continuing this today.

I’ll see you all tomorrow! (hopefully)

I started last week off on a champagne filled boat ride with my professors and my co-workers. It was a chilly scenic morning filled with promises of future wealth. We passed by billions of dollars worth of property in boats and houses. It was an eye-opening experience and filled within me a drive to find ways to one day gather enough monetary wealth to afford those luxuries that I saw that day.

A couple of days later, I was able to group together two friends to go on a much-needed retreat to Sequoia National Park. We stayed two days and two nights at Cold Springs Campsite. By our campsite was a river and backpacking trail that both teemed with wildlife.

It was here on the past few days where I was forced to revisit my priorities and my purpose in life. The past few days helped me rethink the things I do on autopilot and focus on my heart’s true desires. I saw majesty in the form of nature and realized how microscopic we are in comparison. I witnessed genius in the form of a half-naked boy fishing in the river, with caught fishes in his shoes. It was through him I realized the importance of simplicity and finding joy in the present and appreciating the things in front of you. I was also reminded again about the importance of brotherhood. A close friend of mine shared his story of someone that matters so much to him and the amount of joy that he felt through shared experiences. This experience reduced me to tears as I knelt down the dirt path reminiscing about my own times with my friends  who were there for me in tough times.

It quickly dawned upon me that I have been looking at life through a faulty lens for some time. After the breakup, I embraced dangerous philosophies that did not provide any room for emotions. I have been a whiny pessimist for the last couple of months and it was there at Sequoia where I had to face the reality of who I was becoming.

I realized that it was only up to me to choose who and what I wanted to be. I  was the one who decided that I was a victim so I should harden my shell and never open up again. I was handling my experiences the way I thought was right, and I can’t ever change that. I can only now acknowledge that I have control over my happiness and ultimately my life. I can change, only if I want to. After all, only things happen in life. Whether or not they are good or bad are entirely up to me to decide.

I found a glimpse of my better self in those mountains. I brought that person back to where I am now, and I am excited to witness my continual growth. There is an infinite amount of greatness and power stored within me, and it is MY responsibility to tend to the garden of Paul so that I can bear witness to the sweet fruits of my labor.

Ditch the shoes and let nature envelop you.

In the words of Tony Robbins. If you want to have a breakthrough moment, you need to be willing to take massive action. I can’t say that I have been taking massive action as of late, but I have been taking action. I realize the potential of a strong mind and how people reap the harvest of what thoughts they plant into their minds. Thinking good thoughts will expand into better thoughts and ultimately blossom into sustainable happiness and vitality of the mind, body and soul. The opposite can be said of wicked thoughts. There is more work I can do in this regard, but I know now what I must do to grow.

I also realize the dangers and importance of falling into boredom. It’s that period of time in which you don’t know what to do with your time. Do I strike up conversation with that stranger I’ve been seeing around? Do I indulge myself in random things to pass the time? Do I meditate on my thoughts or read a book? These moments are as vital as they are frequent. It’s no longer about doing what I want, but what I know I should be doing. It’s about aligning these two things.

It’s about the metamorphosis that I deeply desire to see in my life. It’s about challenging problems and picking myself up when the going gets rough. It’s about self-acceptance and tested determination. It’s the story of my life and all the ordeals I have gone through. The good and the bad. It’s everything that I have ever thought, eaten, and everyone I have ever met.  It’s about everything that exists in my world.

I declare now, that I have the courage to be me and to never relent in my pursuit of happiness and growth. I will develop myself as a moral human being and take into consideration all the guidance and love that I have felt from friends and family. I will do it not only for myself but for them as well. I will surprise others, but those that have had faith in me will not be surprised at what massive impact I will have on this world. It’s a somewhat unnerving feeling now, but I do have faith in my great potential.

LET’S GOOOOOO

hehe xd

It’s what makes us feel alive. It’s the reason for our happiness. Progression is of vital importance to the well being of a human being.

I have a theory that this is what makes such things like Pokemon Go and other games so successful. The developers have created a way for users to experience the progression that they don’t get as much in their lives. In my life, these sorts of “distracted” progression has come in the form of relationships, lots of video games, jobs that I did not like… the list goes on and on.

I’m not saying that these distracted progressions are necessarily bad. I think that often times they are a necessity in your quest to finding your true passions. It is a foolproof plan in the sense that if you lose yourself in these distracted progressions- wherein you spend all your time on that one thing, it will have evolved from the state of distracted progression to an obsessive passion (a good thing).

In this state of obsessive passion breeds men like Elon Musk and the supercompany known as Tesla Motors.

The only real challenge is realizing quickly whether whatever it is that you are doing has the potential to turn into a passion or a distraction. These distractions can span years of your time. It isn’t a waste of time if it helps you find your passion, but it is not the most efficient use of time.

There is a sense of urgency in finding your passions.

I’m writing this post after watching Tony Robbin’s new documentary on netflix- Tony Robbins: I am not your Guru. It moved me to tears hearing the story of Sol- a 20 something year old woman who was raised to believe that it was God’s will to use her as a vessel for sex with others. I’m a little skeptical about whether or not some of them are paid actors (looking at you Lance), but I think there is an immense amount of value people can gain from listening to him speak.

For me, the biggest takeaway was to do things as they appear into thought. To roar like a lion and establish my stake in things when it is necessary, and not waiting for that “perfect” time to come. He pushes you to think about the core of your seemingly “small” problems and find out where and what it stems from.

Lately I’ve been running from my own problem. And that problem is the fear of success. It’s the fear of how far I think I might get. I find that it’s easy to try new things, but it’s hard to form habits when I think that those new things are good for me. I quickly find other distractions because that illusion of choice makes me realize that there must be something better out there. Or maybe this really does mean that I haven’t figured out my passion yet.

Ending on a good note. Today I was able to interact with my parents more than I have done in years. I engaged with them and really tried to make them laugh and converse with me more. Not surprisingly, I succeeded mostly due to their love for me, but my charm played a factor as well. Cheers to better days!

This page will be used as a gateway for others to look into my world. The objective is to share my experiences with others in an open environment and to develop unique perspectives and compassion for both myself and my readers. Cheers!