Dichotomy in all things

As I grow into this new chapter of my life, I’ve been thinking more about the importance of BALANCE in all/most things. There are binary things, such as do not murder in cold blood, but there is such a thing as TOO CARING, and TOO SELFISH. It’s different for every individual, but I’m realizing more that only I can find that balance for myself. I SHOULD spend the time to explore external factors that help me shape MY balance in these things, but ultimately it is I who decides what that balance looks like.

In recent times, the idea of the “dichotomy in all things” comes from Jocko Willink, who I will have the pleasure of seeing in January! In my life, I have cared too much about what people think of me, and I still struggle with that today. Many of us do things to please people we don’t even really care about, and we tag ourselves “too busy,” to give ourselves time to think about what is really going on. We fill our lives with negative loop cycles, and the months and years fly by before we wonder what the fuck has happened.

It’s only been 3 months since I moved to a new city, but one of the first things I noticed was how many people around me are just being the best versions of themselves, not caring too much about what others think of them. This is why I think it’s a good place for me to be, because being back home, I already notice myself being myself BETTER. I’m surprising some people, family included, but it’s foolish to live life not being my own highest priority. Take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of others better.

But of course, the dichotomy here is in not caring at all about what others think. When you fall into this mindset, you become an egotistic, self-centered asshole. You push through people to get what you want, and you don’t form meaningful relationships with anyone.

The BALANCE is what is important. You should care what others think, but not to the extent where you don’t do the things you want to do. And without a good sense of self-awareness this is difficult to do.


Meditation and alone time -> strong sense of self-awareness -> ability to figure out the right balance in things.

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